May 18, 2017 - Uncategorized

Wide, Orange,Crocodile,Within,Collapsed

my goal is to use more dialog

"Hey josh" Jack yelled ruining around the corner
"Guest what i found" said Jack still yelling 
"What" said grumpy Josh
"A cave do you want to go in it?" said Jack
"OK" said Josh
Both boys running to see how wide the cave door is. A sign said "within there shall be a crocodile" They both 
did not know if they should go in. they decided to go in and see. Jack walked slowly around the corner there
was a orange crocodile. Josh stood on a stick the crocodile opened it's eyes and the cave collapsed.

One thought on “100wc


Hi Jack
I like the way you have told me what your goal was as I can confirm that you have definitely met it in this piece of writing! It’s hard to not fall into just writing dialogue as a conversation but you have managed to use this to move the action on and have interspersed it with narrative.
Just be careful not to miss out those capital letters.
Kiki’s writing is here if you want to read it
Miss T and Kiki
Hampshire, England


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